When my husband
died after so many years together, I was devastated and frightened.
I was at a loss as to how I could emotionally and strategically go
forward. Nor did I want to. In the beginning, it was all I could do
to get up in the morning and face another lonely and agonizing day.
The one thing I did initially, on the advice of my sons, was create
a journal of what I was experiencing and feeling. They hoped this
would ease some of my anxiety and grief. And so, every day, I chronicled
my emotions and behavior, which were, at first, unproductive if not
the fourth or fifth month of my widowhood, I became acquainted with
a number of other widows and began to realize that we shared a common
bond. They too were in a desolate state of being. In my desire to
communicate how well I understood what they were experiencing, I began
sharing my journal with them. To my surprise, these widows enthusiastically
reported back to me how strongly they related to what I had written
and urged me to make my journal accessible to more women. In response
to their advice, I wrote and published The Widow’s Journey and
am now offering it to others seeking understanding and help.
goal, as I wrote the book, was to relate to my readers how I went
about the healing process––the many roads I traveled to
find peace and stability in my new life. These include my early destructive
behavior with alcohol and drugs. But, more importantly, I discuss
the many positive avenues I traveled, such as attending a grief group,
getting back in touch with nature, trying biofeedback, practicing
meditation, designing a memorial album, and numerous other techniques.
All of these I discuss in detail, so the reader has a clear idea of
what each involved. Included throughout the book are also many helpful
suggestions by specialists in the field of grieving and my comments
on how helpful these were for me. (Experts in the field of grief can
offer a great deal, but they don’t seem to be writing for us
widows, but for others in their field.) Thus, in my book I attempt
to put their words into more understandable context. Finally, I incorporated
a number of moving stories told to me by other widows, compelling
personal experiences that I will never forget. And I am confident:
neither will you.
If you are a widow of short or long standing, I know this book will
touch your heart and perhaps move you to share your narrative with
others. By doing so we can help each other. Since listening to many
such stories, I now feel a genuine bond with the many, who like us,
have lost a loved one. No one else can understand this as we do, so
don’t hesitate to add your voice. Comments can be posted on
this web site. My book can be obtained online at Amazon.com.